My Girls

I will try to tell some of my favorite memories of my girl each week, not all because there are so many. Lets start with the oldest and go down the list.

Beth, a traveler from birth this baby loved to ride. She made many trips to the ER, was she that sick? No, just liked to ride. Every night she would scream and cry, nothing we could do would stop it. So we would pack her up and off to the ER we would go. They would say we can't find anything, she seems to be perfectly healthy. Well we knew something had to be really wrong with our baby the way she screamed and cried. After several trips like that we bean to notice something. As soon as we got to the end of the driveway she was sound asleep. So we decided to try that for awhile. And sure enough, sleeping before we got to the end of the driveway. Not walking, singing, or rocking, just a little spin down the driveway. This started at just a few weeks old, not months but she knew if she was riding in the car. There was no fooling her, not even putting her car seat in a wagon and pulling her around the livingroom. She was ready for her road trip.

Thoughts

Just sitting here thinking about dreams, how I had the dream of sitting on my front porch rocking looking out across the yard and watching grand kids play. There laughter ringing in the air as they chased fireflies and each other. Maybe one in my lap as I hummed and rocked and watched the older ones play. Having a huge garden and sitting there on the porch in my trusty rocking chair, shelling beans and telling them about things from when I was a little girl. Answering their curious questions. Eating watermelon and telling them how their moms use to have seed spitting contest. Have a huge dinner at least once a month , where the family gathered, ate too much and just laughed and talked. " I have a dream." Sound silly? Not likely? Maybe, but I have a dream.

Right now everyone is going in so many different directions. Kinda sad and yet understandable. It may not seem like it but, children grow so fast. Then one day your standing there wondering what happen. And the sadness of what you should have done different if you had only realized at the time. We all make mistakes but, we do the best we know how at the time. That is what I tried to do. Could I have been a better mom? Absolutely, who couldn't look back and say, " If I only knew then." The thing is we can live in, should have could have or continue to do the best we know how. Will we still make mistakes? Yep, but hopefuly not the same ones. Although sometimes we do.